Putting My Therapy Toolbox to Use

My OCD was triggered today, and it demanded that I fix the feeling, get rid of the anxiety, and do something to feel better immediately. Instead, I pulled out a couple of skills from my therapy toolbox. I’ll be honest: I did give in to OCD a little, but I stopped myself before letting it pull me any deeper into the cycle. Instead of getting trapped in a spiral of compulsions, I chose to go outside, get some fresh air, and do something values-driven instead of OCD-driven. My anxiety was high, and I had to really push myself to go outside. OCD wanted me to stay stuck in the cycle of trying to make the anxiety go away. But recovery meant choosing something different. Recovery meant stepping outside, sitting with the anxiety, and letting the uncomfortable feeling be there without immediately trying to fix it. Once I got outside, the fresh air felt refreshing and calming. I noticed the cool, crisp breeze, the soft chirping of the birds, and the gentle sway of the swing beneath me. As I sat on the swing, the birds were whistling back and forth around me, and I could feel the whisper of the wind. For a moment, I felt grounded in the sweetness around me instead of trapped inside the noise of OCD. The swing is my comfort zone. It is where I can sit, breathe, and remind myself that I am okay even when OCD is loud.

Sitting with the anxiety can feel overwhelming, but grounding myself by noticing and observing what is around me helps. Instead of running from the anxiety, I was practicing being present. I was reminding myself that I did not have to obey every thought, feeling, or urge OCD threw at me. In that moment, I was putting my therapy toolbox to use. I still use the skills I learned during treatment at Neurobehavioral Institute, and today, instead of giving in to compulsions, I reached for my therapy toolbox. Today, two tools stood out the most: choosing values-driven behavior over OCD-driven behavior and grounding myself in the present moment. OCD wanted me to chase relief and make the anxiety disappear. Recovery meant choosing something different. Recovery meant going outside, sitting on the swing, noticing the breeze, listening to the birds, and letting the feeling be there without giving OCD what it wanted. OCD got loud today. Fear got loud today. The anxiety was real. The urge to give in felt strong.

But, OCD did not win… I did!