Just Say F It

When OCD is loud, it's easier to do the compulsion. It's easier to take the shower, clean the thing, avoid the situation, and obey OCD. For years, that's exactly what I did. Recently, my attitude toward OCD has shifted to giving OCD the middle finger. Instead of giving in, I’ve been putting my values first by doing things I enjoy instead of spending my time on compulsions.Lately, I’ve been reminding myself that I do not have to obey OCD’s every demand OCD tries really hard to win, but this mofo doesn’t get to win.Today, I felt contaminated. OCD told me I needed to shower before I could do anything else. But instead of listening, I put on some music and headed outside. I spent time floating in the pool, soaking up the sunshine, and enjoying the afternoon. Before I knew it, my anxiety had come way down. Nothing changed, but my willingness to fight OCD is getting stronger each day. The relief does not come from obeying OCD, but rather from going out and living life.Today, I chose sunshine over showering. I chose living over compulsions.And to OCD, all I have to say is: F you.