OCD in the Moment

I’m contaminated.

OCD was triggered and is loud, yelling at me, “You’re contaminated. Go shower.” I’m not letting OCD win though. I did not go right to the shower; instead, I dove into an exposure: cross-contamination. I’m sitting in a chair in the living room while “dirty.”  OCD wants me to clean the chair, then shower. I hate sitting with anxiety. It’s much easier to just give in. I’m afraid I’ll spread the contamination, but the longer I sit with the anxiety, the more it starts to calm down. Riding the wave of anxiety is hard, but it pays off. I’m calmer now. At first, I was sitting rigidly on the edge of the chair and now I have relaxed enough to sit back more comfortably. The urge is still strong; however, I am delaying the shower. OCD hit hard today, but I am stronger than OCD.